12 Days of Christmas

[hidden]

December 14, 1972

My dearest darling John:

Who ever in the whole world would dream of getting a real Partridge in a Pear Tree? How can I ever express my pleasure. Thank you a hundred times for thinking of me this way.

My love always,
Agnes


December 15, 1972

Dearest John:

Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine two turtle doves. I'm just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable.

All my love,
Agnes


December 16, 1972

Dear John:

Oh! Aren't you the extravagant one. Now I must protest. I don't deserve such generosity, three French hens. They are just darling but I must insist, you've been too kind.

All my love,
Agnes


December 17, 1972

Dear John:

Today the postman delivered four calling birds. Now really, they are beautiful, but don't you think enough is enough. You are being too romantic.

Affectionately,
Agnes


December 18, 1972

Dearest John:

What a surprise. Today the postman delivered five golden rings, one for every finger. You're just impossible, but I love it. Frankly, all those birds squawking were beginning to get on my nerves.

All my love,
Agnes


December 19, 1972

Dear John:

When I opened the door today there were actually six geese laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again huh? These geese are huge. Where will I ever keep them? The neighbors are complaining and I can't sleep through the racket. Please stop.

Cordially,
Agnes


December 20, 1972

John:

What's with you and those freaking birds?? Seven swans a swimming. What kind of  joke is this? There's bird poop all over the house and they never stop the racket. I can't sleep at night and I'm a nervous wreck. It's not funny. So stop those freaking birds.

Sincerely,
Agnes


December 21, 1972

O.K. Buster:

I think I prefer the birds. What the hell am I going to do with 8 maids a milking? It's not enough with all those birds and 8 maids a milking, but they had to bring their  cows. There is manure all over the lawn and I can't move in my own house. Just lay off me.

Agnes


December 22, 1972

Hey you:

What are you.....some kind of sadist? Now there's nine pipers playing. And Christ do they play. They've never stopped chasing those maids since they got here yesterday morning. The cows are getting upset and they're stepping all over those screeching birds. What am I going to do? The neighbors have started a petition to evict me.

You'll get yours !
Agnes


December 23, 1972

You rotten scoundrel:

Now there's ten ladies dancing. I don't know why I call those sluts ladies. They've been doing those pipers all night long. Now the cows can't sleep and they've got diarrhea. My living room is a river. The Commissioner of Buildings has subpoenaed me to give cause why the building shouldn't be condemned. I'm calling the police on you !

Agnes


December 24, 1972

Listen but-head:

What's with those eleven lords a leaping on those maid and ladies?  Those pipers ran through the maids and have been going after the cows. All twenty-three of the birds are dead. They've been trampled to death in the activity. I hope you're satisfied, you rotten vicious swine.

You're sworn enemy,
Agnes


December 25, 1972

Dear Sir:

This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers fiddling which you have seen fit to inflict on our client, Miss Agnes McHolstein. The destruction, of course, was total. All correspondence should come to our attention. If you should attempt to reach Miss McHolstein at Happy Dale Sanitarium, the attendants have been instructed to shoot you on sight.

With this letter please find attached a warrant for your arrest.

Cordially,

Law Offices of
Badger, Bender and Chole



(edited for content...family forum)

[hidden]

  Thanks that really made me laugh!

Here is one about the same subject, not funny but educational.



DO YOU KNOW THE HISTORY OF THE SONG TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS?

From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were
not permitted to practice their faith openly. Someone
during that era wrote this carol as a catechism song for young Catholics.
It has two levels of meaning: the surface meaning
plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church. Each
element in the carol has a code word for a religious reality
which the children could remember.

-The partridge in a pear tree was Jesus Christ.

-Two turtle doves were the Old and New Testament

-Three French hens stood for faith, hope and love.

-The four calling birds were the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John.

-The five golden rings recalled the Torah or Law, the first five books of the Old Testament.

-The six geese a-laying stood for the six days of creation.

-Seven swans a-swimming represented the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit--Prophesy, Serving, Teaching, Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership, and Mercy.

-The eight maids a-milking were the eight beatitudes.

-Nine ladies dancing were the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit--Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control.

-The ten lords a-leaping were the ten commandments.

-The eleven pipers piping stood for the eleven faithful disciples.

-The twelve drummers drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief in the Apostles' Creed.

So there is your history for today. This knowledge was shared with me and I found it interesting and enlightening and now I know how that strange song became a Christmas Carol...so pass it on i f you wish.'

[hidden]

Welcome to the forum Eireen!

Ok...Now that we have gone from Hugely funny, to interesting, lets take it one step further....the cost!


"Given the economic downturn, even the most romantic might balk at the $86,609 price tag for the items in the carol, “The Twelve Days of Christmas.”

That’s this year’s cost, according to the annual “Christmas Price Index” compiled by PNC Wealth Management, which tallies the single partridge in a pear tree to the 12 drummers drumming, purchased repeatedly as the song suggests. The price is up $8,508 or 10.9 percent, from $78,100 last year.

'True loves may take it on the chin for a peck on the cheek,' said Jim Dunigan, managing executive of investment for PNC Wealth Management, which has been calculating the cost of Christmas since 1984.

Instead of two turtle doves ($55) why not two Dove chocolate bars at about buck each? Don’t have $4,414 for 10 lords-a-leaping? How about a “Riverdance” DVD? Plenty of leaping there, and it’s only about $25 on Amazon.com. Save a couple grand by skipping the 11 pipers piping and getting a CD of Scottish bagpipe music for less than $20."

-quoted from MSNBC, Dec 2008

[hidden]

I''d way rather have the dove chocolate bars! lol G1